Eeyore the Iowan Goat

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Eeyore the Iowan Goat
<add Redneck Kong-like graphic here>
First appearance Earth (real world, 199?)
Fanonpedia (fictional media, 2023)
Gender Male
Species Human
Age Mid-20s
Date of birth ??/??/199?
Hometown His desktop computer within his bedroom, somewhere in the USA
Nationality White
Occupation(s) Gaming services
Friends The RPG Gamer, DarkMatterMan4500
Enemies Shigeru Miyamoto, MediaWiki updates that mess up the interface
Likes Platformers, wikis, gaming in general, various subgenres of metal (rap metal, groove metal, thrash metal, some death metal too)
Dislikes Discord, karens, modern pop music
Abilities Dropping paragraphs of wiki text like freestyle without rhyme
Weapon of choice Keyboard and mouse


Eeyore the Iowan Goat (retired aliases: Results May Vary, often shortened to RMV, Bawitdaba, and Limp Bizkit) is a real-world gamer known for creating several wikis with at least some connection to Super Mario or Donkey Kong, even if it is a loose one (e.g. a wiki on Square Enix). He has not yet made an avatar of himself, but has envisioned one bearing a resemblance to Redneck Kong, but with red overalls.

For a short while, Eeyore the Iowan Goat ran something called "Miraheze Gaming Services," but decommissioned it, as well as shelved the wikis, due to potential inability to manage open communities on so many of them. Many of the wikis he created with his vision in mind, which would make it mostly a personal project, whilst Fanonpedia was designed with an open community in mind.

Ever since his beloved cat died at the very end of 2023, Eeyore the Iowan Goat fell into depression, his metal playlist became heavier than ever, incorporating death metal for the first time. Eeyore the Iowan Goat directly named himself after Eeyore, a now-deceased goat appearing on the cover of Slipknot's Iowa album. Although Eeyore the Iowan Goat has no direct spirit animal since his cat's death, he has found solace with the goat himself.

Eeyore the Iowan Goat always grew up in liberal areas. There was one point where he tried to rebel against this by being a right-winger in the early 2020s, hating radical feminism and other forms of woke. However, he has been proudly liberal since 2023, hating all of the dishonesty and hypocrisy from the right, the increase of neo nazis, and the right's homogeneous conflation of the left to make all of them appear woke. Some of Eeyore the Iowan Goat's favorite public figures now include Bill Gates, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden. However, Eeyore the Iowan Goat's favorite president is the one from his childhood, George W. Bush, and he at one point even posted Bush's iconic presidential portrait on his user page somewhere, hoping to raise wiki morale to the way it was in 2007.

Eeyore the Iowan Goat was raised in a Christian family. He is partially agnostic and partially Christian. He used to identify as more of a Christian, but right-wingers and nazis ruined the religion for him badly. Eeyore the Iowan Goat feels that having a complete Christian faith would leave him more vulnerable to religious manipulation. He hates the racism and antisemitism in the Bible, but remains fascinated by the wide global appeal of the religion, including for himself. Basically, Eeyore the Iowan Goat is on more of his own faith journey. He stopped attending church in late 2022.

Trivia

  • Eeyore the Iowan Goat's love for rap metal gave him a tendency to name himself after things relating to it:
    • Results May Vary is the name of a studio album from Limp Bizkit.
    • Limp Bizkit is a rap-metal band fronted by Fred Durst.
    • Bawitdaba is Kid Rock's breakout single and one of Results May Vary (the person)'s all-time favorite songs.
  • "Eeyore the Iowan Goat" is the first username without any connection to rap metal, but rather standard nu metal mixed with death metal.
  • Eeyore the Iowan Goat has partially disassociated himself from Kid Rock's and Fred Durst's catalog due to their support of Donald Trump and Elon Musk respectively. He still loves their music the same.