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S'appening, mate? Now then, listen 'ere. Spyke's a sea urchin who's been runnin' this business in Inkopolis Plaza for a while. Picture this. You spy someone strollin' about, looking fresher than you could have imagined. "Blimey," you fink, "Wot gear is THAT." We've all been there, love. Well, I'll tell ya wot it was: probly somefink wot would look better on YOU, mate. Wot you do in that situation's ya ring up ol' Spyke, and he'll put in an order for that gear you fancy. Yeah, yeah, it might not have the exact same abilities, but who'll be the wiser? And Spyke's gear-related services don't stop there, no, not by a long shot, mate. He can boost ya gear's star power, add and reroll abilities, and even handle SplatNet Shop stuff. Not too shabby, innit? 'Course, all this ain't free, but a bloke's gotta make a livin' somehow. So save up on that cash and them Super Sea Snails, yeah? See, he can use them little lids on top of the snails to raise your gear's star power. But he doesn't need the lids himself. Nah, he's after the gooey stuff on the inside. Maybe ya didn't wanna know that...

He seems to be mates with Murch, that kid wot hangs out in Inkopolis Square and Splatsville. They're bloomin' great at co-ordinatin' gear stuff with each other.